{"id":390,"date":"2010-05-04T00:42:58","date_gmt":"2010-05-04T05:42:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dcdistrictdiva.com\/?p=390"},"modified":"2010-05-04T00:42:58","modified_gmt":"2010-05-04T05:42:58","slug":"no-small-dreams","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/no-small-dreams\/","title":{"rendered":"No Small Dreams"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_391\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.dcdistrictdiva.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/protecttheking.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-391\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-391\" title=\"protecttheking\" src=\"http:\/\/www.dcdistrictdiva.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/protecttheking-300x240.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"240\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-391\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">From http:\/\/www.todaysdrum.com\/2095\/5-fascinating-facts-about-obamas-security\/  <\/p><\/div>\n<p>I dreamed I was at a party for the President.\u00a0 I was decked out in a yellow gown with my curly hair pinned up and both ears and wrists dripping with diamonds.\u00a0 I went outside of the arena to greet the President when to my horror, I noticed that he had no secret service protection.\u00a0 He was being mobbed by the adoring guests and I had to stop it.<\/p>\n<p>Thinking quickly, I ran back into the arena to grab large men to guard Obama for the night.\u00a0 There was a competition going on, for men and women, and I skirted past my sister who was lined up in the hallway with the other women who were competing.\u00a0 Fully focused on the mission, I ran to the opposite hallway where the men were lined up.\u00a0 Four tall and muscular men in dashing tuxedos looked quite appropriate for the role of temporary bodyguard.\u00a0 I motioned them close to me and whispered, &#8220;which of you will stand in service to your country?&#8221; (Clearly, a dream).\u00a0 Two of them looked at me as if they discovered my secret&#8211;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.dcdistrictdiva.com\/?p=29\">I&#8217;m crazy and thus have crazy dreams<\/a>.\u00a0 The other two, eagerly and blindly followed me outside.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>But the President was no where in sight.\u00a0 My heart sank.\u00a0 <em>Had something happened to him<\/em>? I searched frantically for him.\u00a0 &#8220;Where is the President?!&#8221; I screamed.\u00a0 &#8220;He left.&#8221; Someone informed me. &#8220;Something about an explosion in the hallways.\u00a0 It&#8217;s not safe.&#8221; <em>In the hallways<\/em>. My heart stopped beating.<\/p>\n<p>I ran back into the arena in a desperate search for my sister whom I had just left in the hallway.\u00a0 I had just brushed past her because I was on a mission. Because I would see her again. Because&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Where is my sister?!&#8221; I asked familiar faces. &#8220;She&#8217;s gone.&#8221; A man&#8217;s chilling response.\u00a0 &#8220;She was in the hallway. Something exploded. They&#8217;re all gone.&#8221;\u00a0 The two men I had pulled out of the hallway to serve the President suddenly reappeared, high-fiving eachother for making the right choice. &#8220;That could&#8217;ve been us!&#8221; They laughed.<\/p>\n<p>I felt sick.\u00a0 I was dizzy. The room was spinning.\u00a0 And then I saw my parents.\u00a0 They seemed pointedly less concerned.\u00a0 I asked again where my sister was, and they did not know.\u00a0 Another young man volunteered, &#8220;she&#8217;s gone.\u00a0 Look, here&#8217;s her jacket. This is all that&#8217;s left of her.&#8221; It was a yellow jacket.\u00a0 &#8220;That, and this purse.&#8221;\u00a0 The purse was ugly&#8211;and empty.\u00a0 &#8220;She&#8217;s gone.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I couldn&#8217;t take it. &#8220;NO!&#8221; I yelled and I raced toward the hallway where I had last seen her.\u00a0 Lined up exactly as the men and women were lined up in the hallway stood a row of black helium balloons with black plastic anchors and silver backs.\u00a0 On the balloons read the haunting words &#8220;Goodbye&#8221; in bold red.\u00a0 &#8220;No. NO!&#8221; I continued to yell and run through the hallway, until I ran myself awake, in a fevered sweat.<\/p>\n<p>I immediately called my sister, terrified.\u00a0 And, thankfully, she answered&#8211;not &#8220;gone,&#8221; after all.\u00a0 Even though she was at work, she looked up everything I told her had happened in my dream in her <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dreammoods.com\/dreamdictionary\/\">dream dictionary<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><strong>President <\/strong><\/span><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><br \/>\nTo see the president of your country in your dream, symbolizes  authority, power and control. It may also represent your own personal views and  opinions of the presidents and his actions. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">This is plausible.\u00a0 It could be as simple as the fact that I&#8217;d heard the President had left the White House without secret service, recently.\u00a0 I never researched whether that claim was true. I do love our President and want him to be safe and would always do whatever I could to ensure that.\u00a0 But maybe it means something more.\u00a0 If the President represents authority, power and control, and it is unguarded, perhaps I am feeling particularly vulnerable and powerless.\u00a0 Like my destiny is completely out of my hands.\u00a0 This would not be too far off&#8230;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">Initially, I believed that my dream meant my sister had <em>died<\/em> in my dream.\u00a0 Yes, something had exploded, and yes there were balloons in the place of people that read &#8220;goodbye,&#8221; but now I think that she only <em>disappeared<\/em> in my dream.\u00a0 The interpretation makes more sense:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><strong><span style=\"color: #0066cc;font-size: medium\">Disappear <\/span> <\/strong><\/span><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"font-size: medium\"><br \/>\n<\/span> <span style=\"font-size: small\"> To dream that people or objects are disappearing right before your eyes,  signifies your anxiety and insecurities over the notion that loved ones  might disappear out of your life. You may feel that you cannot depend  on someone and feel that you are alone and inadequate. You need to work  on your self-image and self-esteem. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>I would love to spend more time with my sister.\u00a0 I am always asking her to come to the city and visit me.\u00a0 And while most times I love it, around this time at night, I do feel very much alone. And yes, even inadequate.\u00a0 Although I can&#8217;t imagine a person with a higher self-image or self-esteem&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><strong>Yellow <\/strong><\/span><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><br \/>\nIf the dream is an unpleasant one, then the color represents cowardice and sickness. You may have a fear or an inability to make a decision or take action. As a result, you are experiencing many setbacks. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">The yellow dress in my dream, was gorgeous. I was gorgeous in it.\u00a0 So, what am I afraid of in my waking life? It isn&#8217;t the Bar&#8211;I am genuinely apathetic. It isn&#8217;t writing&#8211;I have never been more on my grind.\u00a0 It isn&#8217;t love&#8211;I&#8217;ve never been more open to it.\u00a0 I have no idea. But, now that you mention it, I <em>have <\/em>been experiencing many setbacks&#8230;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><strong>Purse <\/strong><\/span><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"> <\/span><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"> <\/span><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><br \/>\n<\/span> <span style=\"color: #ff00ff\">To see an empty purse,  represents feelings of insecurity or vulnerability.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">My sister&#8217;s purse was empty, so maybe she was the one feeling insecure or vulnerable, although clearly that fits right into my narrative du jour&#8230;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><strong>Balloon <\/strong><br \/>\nTo see balloons in your dream, indicates declining hopes in your search for love. A situation in your life will take a turn downward. Balloons also represent arrogance and an inflated opinion of yourself. If you see black balloons in your dream, then it symbolizes depression,  especially if the balloons are descending. <\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\">To see an ascending  balloon in your dream, signifies frustrating conditions in your life in which  you are seeking to rise above. You are expressing a desire to escape.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">Burn.\u00a0 I would not say my hopes in my search for love are <em>declining<\/em>&#8211;outloud&#8230;That would make for a truly depressing book! And &#8220;arrogance&#8221; is such a strong word.\u00a0 I prefer. &#8220;self-aware,&#8221; thank-you-very-much. Black balloons and depression.\u00a0 I rebuke it. Been there, done that, never going back again.\u00a0 Besides, the balloons, although weighted down, were attempting to <em>ascend<\/em>, which means that I am frustrated with conditions in my life and I am seeking to rise above. Check and check!\u00a0 But I am not <em>expressing<\/em> a desire to escape. I am getting up out.\u00a0 Moves are already being made. And what&#8217;s more, the balloons said &#8220;goodbye&#8221; on them.\u00a0 Perhaps I am saying goodbye to depression, to frustrating conditions, goodbye to declining hopes in my search for the definition of love, goodbye to downward situations, and goodbye to arrogance! *I receive all of that!*<br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>***************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">But last night, I dreamed of a giant.\u00a0 The same giant that has been haunting my dreams for years.\u00a0 He isn&#8217;t always a giant in my dreams, though, but always Big. And last night, I was so small.\u00a0 I was at a school event and I was trying to crawl onto the bleachers, but I couldn&#8217;t. I was grunting trying to get one leg over so I could pull myself up, but it was to no avail.\u00a0 And suddenly, he was next to me on the bleachers.\u00a0 He had giant hands.\u00a0 He reached down and pulled me up, but didn&#8217;t set me on the bleachers, he swung my legs around the back of his neck and he ran around the gym with me on his back for the school to see.\u00a0 I was blushing like a 12 year-old.\u00a0 Everything was fluttering. It was all I ever wanted. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">He set me down, eventually, and I could not stop smiling.\u00a0 Even when he abandoned me for someone else, I could not stop smiling because I had had that moment.\u00a0 And everyone saw.\u00a0 No one could take that away. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">I woke up feeling like a complete idiot, and horrified that I might have accidentally slipped back into the pathetic stage of my life that I&#8217;d only recovered from a short while ago.\u00a0 I looked up what dreaming of a giant meant.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><strong><span style=\"color: #0066cc;font-size: medium\"><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\">Giant<\/span> <\/span> <\/strong><span style=\"font-size: medium\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-size: small\">A giant symbolizes an issue, a person or a feeling that  is dominating you. You are having an inferiority complex.<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">I do not believe for a minute that I am regressing back into that pathetic ghost of me, that stranger that I hope to never know again.\u00a0 Instead, I&#8217;d like to think that this dream was just an <em>Izzie<\/em> <em>moment<\/em>.\u00a0 Like when Izzie gets metastatic melanoma that metastasizes in her brain as tumors and she hallucinates about Denny and only Denny&#8211;her dead fiancee.\u00a0 But she doesn&#8217;t see Denny because he is this great love of her life. She&#8217;s now in love with Alex, and Alex is her &#8220;future.&#8221;\u00a0 But Denny keeps coming to her because she associates Denny with death and dying, and she thinks she is dying.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">In the same vein, then, dreaming about this giant doesn&#8217;t necessarily\u00a0 mean what I feared it meant.\u00a0 Maybe I just associate him with inferiority, unworthiness, and powerlessness because that is how I felt around him.\u00a0 Since the time after him was the most overwhelming experience I have ever had, perhaps now, whenever I am feeling a twinge of inferiority and powerlessness, it reminds me of that time, and I&#8217;ll dream of him. Perhaps the dream is warning me that I am still settling for that one lap around the gym&#8211;that small taste of what it is I want&#8211; and am blushing and smiling, and <em>content<\/em>, instead of demanding more.\u00a0 Demanding <em>it all<\/em>.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">Sigh.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">So God is telling me through these dreams that I have a choice: I can (1) keep being small, and needy, and afraid, and content with receiving less than what He intends for me to receive; or (2) I can wholeheartedly walk in the authority I have been given through God and be who I am supposed to be, accepting every blessing, and dreaming no small dreams. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">While I am definitely on the right track, I know I am not living up to my potential.\u00a0 I could write better. I could write more. I could <em>be <\/em>more.\u00a0 I could pitch more stories a day than I pitch.\u00a0 I could be farther along in the research I am doing for the book I am writing.\u00a0 I could give 100% at work.\u00a0 Heck, I could give %70 at work. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">I can write about it, or I can be about it.\u00a0 What I do and how much I give are solely in my control.\u00a0 And that scares me to death.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I dreamed I was at a party for the President.\u00a0 I was decked out in a yellow gown with my curly hair pinned up and both ears and wrists dripping with diamonds.\u00a0 I went outside of the arena to greet the President when to my horror, I noticed that he<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[27],"tags":[285,286,333,381,391,411,475,671,1050],"class_list":["post-390","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-usual-dithering","tag-dream-interpretation","tag-dreams","tag-fear","tag-giants","tag-god","tag-greys-anatomy","tag-insecurity","tag-obama","tag-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7nB6F-6i","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=390"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}