{"id":2883,"date":"2012-09-02T23:04:08","date_gmt":"2012-09-03T03:04:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.districtdiva.com\/?p=2883"},"modified":"2012-09-02T23:04:08","modified_gmt":"2012-09-03T03:04:08","slug":"kristen-stewart-i-was-her","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/kristen-stewart-i-was-her\/","title":{"rendered":"Kristen Stewart? I was Her"},"content":{"rendered":"

You may not know who Kristen Stewart is or why she is famous or why she is currently persona non grata in Hollywood. \u00a0Well let me tell you who she is and what she’s done and how I sort of did the same thing with similar results.<\/p>\n

First, Kristen Stewart is the 22-year-old “highest paid young actress in Hollywood” for her role as “Bella Swan” in the blockbuster ‘Twilight’ franchise about sparkly vampires. \u00a0Her boyfriend and co-star in the films was Robert Pattinson, the charming brit (whose appeal I SO did not see until recently…#TeamJacob<\/strong><\/span><\/a>!). Young girls (and cougars alike) envied KriBella. She had everything: lots of money, lots of fame, and a hunky boyfriend. \u00a0And then she messed up big time<\/a><\/strong><\/span> by cheating on Rob with her (super old, creepy) director from her summer blockbuster film\u00a0Snow White and the Huntsman<\/em>, Rupert Sanders (a\u00a0married<\/em> father of 2):
\n\"Kristen<\/p>\n

Kristen rejecting one of creepy old guy’s public advances at the Snow White and the Hunstman Premiere<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>Though she immediately and publicly apologized<\/a><\/strong><\/span> when the scandal broke in July, Stewart has been getting shat upon for her sins, possibly losing out<\/a><\/strong><\/span> on movie roles like the sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman AND most recently is rumored to be replaced<\/a><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0on the press tours for the last installment of the Twilight series that she’s the star of by a lesser castmate that nobody<\/em> is here to see. \u00a0Meanwhile her old creepy (did I mention MARRIED father of two???) director and fellow adulterer is basically getting off scott-free (if you don’t count the possible divorce<\/a><\/strong><\/span> he’s facing from his wife, super model Liberty Ross). \u00a0This is like that story in the Bible where the pharisees dragged the adulterous woman out of her lover’s bed and brought her to the town square to stone her, leaving the married adulterous (and clearly invisible) man toasty warm under his sheets. \u00a0Sexism is not dead, my friends!<\/p>\n

Anyway, to let the rumor-mill tell it, Stewart isn’t sleeping, isn’t showering or washing her hair<\/a><\/strong><\/span>, but is lounging around eating ice cream and very depressed over what she’s done — you know, normal girl stuff.<\/p>\n

As a retrospective explanation for why she would cheat, Stewart told Elle Magazine<\/strong> <\/span><\/a>a month before the scandal broke:<\/p>\n

“You can learn so much from bad things. I feel boring. I feel like, ‘Why is everything so easy for me?’ I can’t wait for something crazy to f\u2013king happen to me. Just life. I want someone to f\u2013k me over! Do you know what I mean?”<\/span><\/p>\n

And that’s the point in this scandal when I saw my own life flash before my eyes. \u00a0Because yeah, I do<\/em> know what she means.<\/p>\n

At least half of the guys that I’ve dated have been inappropriate and have stemmed from my sheer boredom with my own “easy” life. \u00a0Though I’ve never cheated on anybody (except that time I was 15, and I was 15 so I don’t count it!) I can completely relate to this feeling like life is stagnating and having a desperate need to shake it up. \u00a0I was 23, though, not 22 like Stewart, when I decided to\u00a0really<\/em> shake my life up by dating someone super inappropriate. He wasn’t married, he wasn’t a father (to my knowledge) but he was definitely inappropriate. And I’ll leave it at that.<\/p>\n

Just a month before I began dating him, I was listening to this song by Teagan & Sara called “Where Does the Good Go<\/a><\/strong><\/span>?” On the track, they croon so cleverly about what it’s like to have your heart broken and how it feels to know you’ll never love again and that all the good in the entire world has disappeared as a result. I remember thinking, “I want to feel that.”<\/p>\n

Look, I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t have any answers for you. It was a dumb thing to want; I don’t know why I wanted to experience real heartbreak, to love so deeply only to have it snatched away and to be plunged into the ultimate despair with no good left in the entire world — but I did want that. \u00a0Maybe I just wanted to know that I was capable <\/em>of feeling that way about some one. And so I set myself up for what Stevie Wonder could see would be certain heartbreak by dating ‘obviously inappropriate guy.’<\/p>\n

When we inevitably broke up, my life was in turmoil. There was lots of crying, lots of ice cream eating, lots of not showering and not hair-washing and lots of wallowing in self-pity for my bad bad life decisions. It was further humiliating because my reputation was impacted by this relationship. And while the whole world wasn’t literally looking on in judgment as Stewart is experiencing now, all the people in my immediate sphere were looking on, gossiping, laughing in my face, etc. (it’s all detailed in this old post “Coming Home to Roost<\/a>.”) It was a no good, very bad time.<\/p>\n

And for a very<\/em> long time, life sucked. \u00a0And then, one day, it didn’t. \u00a0I moved on, washed my hair, had a string of cool jobs and got over my childish desire to experience “crazy, life-altering, disaster” in order to feel something —\u00a0anything<\/em>— real. \u00a0And Kristen, girl, you will, too. Because good things ARE\u00a0<\/em>real; a good life is\u00a0<\/em>a valid life — even though we’re conditioned to believe otherwise. Yes, the Oscar-winning roles are the ones of broken characters who have been through unimaginable ordeals and survive (or do) unconscionable acts. \u00a0And yes, most people don’t want to read a memoir of a well-adjusted, introspective, happy person. \u00a0I guess people love a good drama, or tragedy-to-triumph story. \u00a0But that’s society’s sickness; it doesn’t have to be ours. \u00a0Good jobs, good friendships, healthy relationships with well-managed drama — those are actually desirable<\/em> things. \u00a0I know that’s not even the message of the Twilight films that have made you so rich –i.e.,\u00a0I’m strangely yet irrevocably in love with this vampire whose strongest urge is to kill me! Give it 5 films, or watch it in French and it’ll totally make sense!<\/em> — but it’s true. It is o.k. to have a good, stable life (seriously, what is wrong with this world when we need permission to just be happy??!).<\/p>\n

But these are lessons that come along with life and growing up and maturity. \u00a0Yes, one hopes that problems will build character, but problems come all by themselves; no need to give them a hand! \u00a0And as a remorseful person, Kristen, you’re already a step ahead of many people in the world, seeing as how it takes a great deal of introspection to have sorrow over what you’ve done. \u00a0Let that sorrow transform you into a person with changed behavior. Here are three more lessons I learned from my similar mistake that might help you out, too:<\/p>\n

1) People are not objects for amusement. \u00a0We don’t date people because we’re bored. \u00a0We will ride roller-coasters, do missions in foreign countries, give back to the less fortunate in a creative way, throw ourselves into work, find new hobbies, have a V-8, do LITERALLY ANYTHING OTHER THAN DATE SOMEONE NEW the next time we are bored.<\/p>\n

2) Most people deep down inside want good things. It’s ok to have good things that most people want. Having a good life still makes for an awesome, completely valid story. It is a blessing and we will appreciate it and never let anyone make us feel bad about our good life again!<\/p>\n

3) God is bigger than our biggest mistake. We are convinced that there is absolutely NOTHING that can separate us from the love of God. All we’ve done is forgivable. As Lauryn Hill rapped and Jesus lived “they hail you, they nail you, no matter who you are.” \u00a0You can’t control what other people do, but when friends, family, folks in general forsake us, the Lord will always be there!<\/p>\n

So, get up, Kristen! Get back in the game, and back on that red carpet for that press tour (because seriously nobody wants to see Ashley Greene!) hold your repentant head up high, and for the love of God, wash that hair! Trust me, #ItGetsBetter!<\/p>\n

xoxo<\/p>\n

-DD<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You may not know who Kristen Stewart is or why she is famous or why she is currently persona non grata in Hollywood. \u00a0Well let me tell you who she is and what she’s done and how I sort of did the same thing with similar results. First, Kristen Stewart<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2892,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2883","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-usual-dithering"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2012\/09\/Robert-Pattinson-Kristen-Stewart1.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7nB6F-Kv","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2883","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2883"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2883\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2892"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2883"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2883"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}