{"id":21,"date":"2009-11-24T07:50:53","date_gmt":"2009-11-24T12:50:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dcdistrictdiva.com\/?p=21"},"modified":"2009-11-24T07:50:53","modified_gmt":"2009-11-24T12:50:53","slug":"like-the-drug-of-a-fiend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/like-the-drug-of-a-fiend\/","title":{"rendered":"Like the Drug of a Fiend"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Addicted to love, like the drug, drug of a fiend.”–Lauryn Hill<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Love Addiction.<\/p>\n

I didn’t realize there was such a thing until I saw it on Oprah yesterday. (Lord knows all the things I’ll miss out on when she retires in 2011!) There I was, comfortably watching her show on sex addiction, listening to the addicts and thinking man, those poor, poor people<\/em>. And then I noticed that the beautiful woman on the stage to the left hadn’t uttered a word. Was she a counselor? There for moral support? What was her<\/em> deal? Then Oprah decided to move on to the next topic, love addiction<\/em>, and the cameras panned to the lovely woman. “Yes, Oprah, I’m a recovering love addict.” Whaaa?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>She was 38 years-old and had never been in a relationship because she spent 12 years 12 YEARS<\/strong> obsessing over her first love. You can do that? Like, legally???
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

Even if it didn’t directly apply to me, I still felt the same chill up my spine as when I watched Girl, Interrupted<\/em> and discovered Borderline Personality Disorder…omg, is that…me?<\/em><\/p>\n

I had scoured Wikipedia–God bless Al Gore for inventing the internet–searching for any resemblance of myself in Borderline Personality Disorder. Yes, I had changed my career goals 4 times, but geez, I’m in my 20s. And who doesn’t spend compulsively? We’re in a capitalistic society! Wasn’t that normal?? After discovering that promiscuity and acute low self-esteem were huge parts of the disorder I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. Are you done now?<\/em><\/p>\n

But yesterday, I just wasn’t quite ready to explore the symptoms of love addiction. So, I put it aside and kept reading my book, Eat Pray Love<\/em><\/a>. Now there’s a chick with a love addiction<\/em>, I thought, from the safe haven behind the pages.<\/p>\n

I barely had an adolescence before I had my first boyfriend, and I have consistently had a boy or a man (or sometimes both) in my life ever since I was fifteen years old. That was–oh let’s see–about ninteen years ago, now. That’s almost two solid decades I have been entwined in some kind of drama with some kind of guy. Each overlapping the next, with never so much as a week’s breather in between. And I can’t help but think that’s been something of a liability on my path to maturity. [pg. 65]<\/span><\/p>\n

I shut the book immediately, as if to say: You shut your mouth, Liz Gilbert!<\/em><\/p>\n

Fine, I had had my first boyfriend at 15 and a steady stream until age 23. So? In all but one, I<\/em> was in control. They <\/em>conformed to me<\/em>, not the other way around. Didn’t that make them<\/em> the love addicts and not me? After all, its not like I needed to be in a relationship or even went looking for one. And even when I was in one, I had always taken myself out on dates to the movies and sat in restaurants alone enjoying my own company with no boo<\/em>k. That’s huge! So under the guise of this safety net, I decided a little wiki-search\/self-non-diagnosis couldn’t hurt.<\/p>\n

I discovered that a Love Addict<\/a>:<\/p>\n