{"id":1853,"date":"2011-06-24T23:45:29","date_gmt":"2011-06-25T03:45:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dcdistrictdiva.com\/?p=1853"},"modified":"2011-06-24T23:45:29","modified_gmt":"2011-06-25T03:45:29","slug":"why-im-not-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/why-im-not-married\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I'm Not Married"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you follow me on Twitter (@DCDistrictDiva<\/a>) then you probably know that Fridays are the highlight of my week. It’s Girlfriends’ Bible Study night, and if I am in the District, nothing will keep me from it. I walk away from my quality time with God and my friend feeling refreshed, loved, prayed for, and spiritually fed — whether we crack open a Bible or not. \u00a0Tonight was no exception.<\/p>\n

Tonight, my friend and I explored a very sensitive topic. \u00a0Pushing 30, neither of us are married. \u00a0We started examining our friends and other women we know who are married or engaged, and we asked ourselves — and each other — why<\/em>? \u00a0But what was so beautiful about this conversation was the way in which it was framed. \u00a0It was not an “oh, po’ us” conversation in the least. \u00a0We took this time to seriously examine ourselves and decided that God has ordained us to be unmarried at this point in our lives for very good reasons.<\/p>\n

We each came up with a list of 15 habits and characteristics we have that we need to break before we can get married. \u00a0Not before someone can love us, mind you. \u00a0What we noticed as we reviewed our friends and others we know who are married or on their way, is that none of those women are perfect or close to it. \u00a0And we certainly won’t be close to perfect by the time we get married, either. \u00a0That’s neither the goal nor the prerequisite. \u00a0But what is so important that I’m glad we took the time to realize and discuss is the reality, weight, and significance of bonding your life with someone else. \u00a0It’s kind of a “BFD,” as our Vice President would say.<\/p>\n

The bonds of marriage are eternal, spiritual, physical, and emotional<\/a>. \u00a0Knowing that marriage is a joining of souls, and knowing love is the act of consistently placing another’s needs above your own — with no other motivation than to see that person reach true peace and happiness — I cannot <\/em>consciously choose to sully another person’s soul with my past and present baggage and insecurities just to avoid being alone. That is not love.<\/p>\n

The reason I am not married has nothing to do with the lack of men. It’s very easy to date. \u00a0 It is also easier to get a marriage license than it is to get a driver’s license in this country (at least with driving, you have to take a test!). \u00a0I am not married because I love my future husband enough \u00a0to square some things away, first. I love him enough to proactively acknowledge and address my baggage in a way that will not only benefit me mentally, physically, and spiritually, but also (hopefully) everyone that I come into contact with, including my husband.<\/p>\n

I am sure that I have more than 15 flaws to work on. I am sure these 15 flaws will not be perfected EVER, let alone by the time I get married. \u00a0And I’m equally sure that these 15 flaws are relationship killers that have to go. \u00a0 It hurt my feelings to make this list. \u00a0It hurts when God chisels away at me. \u00a0But what is so beautiful in this process of change and growth is knowing that I have a friend who is holding on to my list of 15 things at this very moment and is diligently working to find scriptures to encourage me in these areas I’m struggling with, just as I am doing for my friend.<\/p>\n

And what is most beautiful of all is knowing that God already knows every flaw, every sin, every negative thing about me, and His love covers all of these things. \u00a0And because of His love and His grace and forgiveness, I get the chance to be better for Him. To live a life that shows gratitude, respect, and love to God for all He does and has done. \u00a0 But I realize that in order to let Him make me His masterpiece and use me to do great things on earth, I must stop surrendering almost, and start surrendering all: my control, my anger, my fear, my insecurities, my unholy desires, my worldly ambitions, my sharp tongue, my selfishness, and my pride.<\/p>\n

Will you let God chisel away at all the things you’re wearing that don’t belong on a child of God? Will you let Him make you His masterpiece? As you pray on these questions, watch this awesome video and be blessed:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Are you “Chasing God + Purpose”? Get your “God-Chaser” gear for men and women at The Diva Shoppe<\/a>!<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a> \"\"<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you follow me on Twitter (@DCDistrictDiva) then you probably know that Fridays are the highlight of my week. It’s Girlfriends’ Bible Study night, and if I am in the District, nothing will keep me from it. I walk away from my quality time with God and my friend feeling<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1854,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[27],"tags":[391,561,594,734,855,964],"class_list":["post-1853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-usual-dithering","tag-god","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-prayer-partner","tag-single","tag-total-surrender"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7nB6F-tT","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1853","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1853"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1853\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}