{"id":1361,"date":"2010-12-08T13:59:20","date_gmt":"2010-12-08T18:59:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dcdistrictdiva.com\/?p=1361"},"modified":"2010-12-08T13:59:20","modified_gmt":"2010-12-08T18:59:20","slug":"happy-black-girl-day-the-prototype-jamilah-lemieux-sister-toldja","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/happy-black-girl-day-the-prototype-jamilah-lemieux-sister-toldja\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Black Girl Day! The Prototype: Jamilah Lemieux (Sister Toldja)"},"content":{"rendered":"

In early 2010, I introduced many of you to \u201cHappy Black Girl Day<\/a>!\u201d, a holiday created by Brooklyn diva extraordinaire and fellow blogger Sister Toldja<\/a>. This once-a-month holiday allows us to take a break from the constant media assault on Black women and to celebrate the sisterhood with showers of positivity. The way I choose to celebrate HBGD is by highlighting an extraordinary and prototypical Black woman.<\/em><\/p>\n

December’s Prototype: Jamilah Lemieux, A.K.A. “Sister Toldja,” award-winning blogger<\/strong>, media personality, and creator of Happy Black Girl Day<\/em>!<\/strong><\/p>\n

On the second Wednesday of every month, Twitter feeds and Facebook streams are filled with exclamations of “Happy Black Girl Day!”\u00a0 Blogger CaShawn Thompson<\/a> hosts a “Happy Black Girl Day!” happy hour at various locations throughout the District, and The Dithering <\/em>profiles a prototypical Black woman.\u00a0 But there would be no monthly celebration called Happy Black Girl Day! without writer, blogger, and feminist champion Jamilah Lemieux. There is, therefore, no better way to end a year of celebrating prototypical Black women than by profiling and honoring the mother of it all.<\/p>\n

Born out of frustration over a seemingly unending barrage of criticism of Black women, Jamilah had finally had enough, and set out to put a stop to it:<\/p>\n

It was about 11 o’clock at night and I was on Twitter and I think it was around the time the story about 50% of black women having herpes came out — which later turned out to be questionable — and I was just having an “enough is enough” moment.\u00a0 I was\u00a0 just sick of hearing all the negativity about black women in the media and I decided we just need a day where everything that we say to and about one another is happy and nice. It may sound silly, but I felt it was needed and so I said, “Tomorrow will be Happy Black Girl Day!” At first, I didn’t really sit down and think, “What do I want this to look like?” which I regret,\u00a0 but I still I think it has turned out well. The biggest criticism that I’ve heard is that it’s called Happy Black Girl Day instead of Happy Black Women Day. But, [using “girl”] just makes me think of the happier shinier moments in life, when we were four or five, with braids in our hair and were sweet and innocent. Not yet subject to all of this nonsense. But overall, people have embraced it, and I am happy about that. We deserve this!<\/span><\/p>\n

And because we deserve this, Jamilah is ramping up her efforts to increase the impact of the holiday on Black women everywhere: <\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

I do plan to put more attention into it in 2011 because I think it’s really valuable and has resonated with many women.\u00a0 And [DCDistrictDiva.com] and CaShawn [Thompson at DirtyPrettyThangs<\/a>]\u00a0 have kept it alive. So next year, I definitely plan on having a big Happy Black Girl Day event in New York to celebration women in this area who deserve acknowledgment.<\/span> [Stay tuned to TheBeautifulStruggler.com<\/a> for more info]
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Also, next year I would really like for the presence of HBGD to be felt online every 2nd<\/sup> Wednesday of the month. I want more bloggers to say “Let\u2019s put the spotlight on my little sister, I\u2019m so proud of her! “<\/span><\/span> I would love to hear more stories like that, or for women to say “On the 2nd<\/sup> Wednesday of the month my homegirls and I meet for a drink,” or “I’m taking my girlfriends out to dinner.”\u00a0 I want it to be a day of just appreciating the black women in your lives and appreciating yourself.<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Also, be on the lookout for a Happy Black Girl Day! site. <\/span>I will say that it really upset me to see that so many people bought the domains the day that I created it. I appreciate that people valued something that I created but I just think that it’s something that I have created<\/em>. It hasn\u2019t made me a super star, but I’ve built a base of supporters, and to take someone else\u2019s things… it’s not very sisterly. <\/span>But there\u2019s a site my site designer and I have designed that I really hope that we can get off the ground soon. It will be a HBGD site where we can highlight other black women and writers. The site will exist all month. It will be a living breathing Happy Black Girl Day experience.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

But this holiday is only one way that Jamilah has dedicated herself and her writing to the feminist fight.\u00a0 Since 2005, the self-described “warrior woman” has made it her goal to help educate and reshape our understanding of what it means to be feminist. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It isn’t about man-hating or bra-burning, or this idea that we don’t need a man.\u00a0 Particularly as a Black woman, we have always acknowledge the importance of Black men in our community and celebrate that. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, this feminist is bound by none of the <\/span>usual labels slung at those who identify with the movement. Jamilah is as sweet as the cakes she bakes and sells all over the country from her Sweet Honey Desserts<\/em><\/a> website.\u00a0 She is also a Soror of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., to which she says<\/a>:<\/p>\n

[D]on\u2019t assume that because you have read some one\u2019s writing, even for years, that you truly know them. I\u2019m Black power, feminism and I\u2019m Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated. These are not things that contradict one another; in fact, they\u00a0work in tandem and always have. \u00a0And I hope that you will all understand that the values of my beloved\u00a0sisterhood are the very same ones that drive the spirit of The Beautiful Struggler and Sister Toldja. If I don\u2019t seem like a typical \u2018sorority girl\u2019 to you, then perhaps you should revisit and revise your idea of what it means to be one.<\/span><\/p>\n

And perhaps, one day, a preface that a feminist can also enjoy cooking, baking, cleaning, and sorority life will not be necessary. <\/span>In fact, that is the reason why she continues to put forth her dynamic social commentary week after week and month after month on Essence.com, Clutch Magazine, Soul Train Online, The Fresh Xpress, The Griot, NPR, and her own site:<\/p>\n

As Marc Lamont Hill says: “Another world is possible.” Change can happen, and it may not be in our lifetime, but we might be able to change small things, or change one person’s mind when it comes to things that desperately need to be addressed. You may not change your city but you may change your neighborhood. We all have the ability to do something.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

But I won’t say that it isn’t frustrating. I\u2019ll go through a period of frustration where I won’t pitch [stories for awhile] or I’ve been kind of quiet on the blog. It’s hard, but the number of people who have reached out to me to let me know that something that I’ve said has resonated, that really makes a difference. It’s encouraging. Even if it’s only two or three, it seems like something that I’m saying matters. I’m just a person with ideas and when you have ideas that people read or relate to and agree with or it challenges them, it raises a conversation. There\u2019s value in that.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

And there is value in Black women telling our own stories. I think we have the responsibility to guide the conversation. People outside of our community are already talking about it. <\/span>If they’re out there trying to throw us under the bus under the guise of reporting what\u2019s out there, then we have to be there, too.<\/span> If we\u2019re not shaping that conversation, we suffer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jamilah has a theory on why Black women have been receiving so much negative attention as of late: <\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

I think that the success of the Obama marriage has really jump-started a lot of this criticism. We were seeing all of these images of this beautiful family who have these two kids and are adorable and loving with each other. I think some people felt there was a need to kind of counterbalance that. Even though the Obamas are only one couple and that doesn\u2019t negate the statistics, it is definitely something to feel good about. And I think some people didn’t want that.\u00a0 Black people doing well may not sell as many books but I think that pain is very profitable. <\/span><\/p>\n

And now we’re on to Black women. Apparently there is a Black women “marriage crisis” because 42% of marriage-age Black women have never been married<\/a>, but 44% of Black men have never been married, yet there’s no “Black man marriage crisis.”\u00a0 And when you factor in that there are 2 million more of us, there’s some fuzzy math going on there. So, right now, I think there\u2019s a market for doing this to black women. [The book] “He’s Just Not That Into You,” took advantage of all women, and I just think it was that magical moment for Steve Harvey and Jimmy Izreal. <\/span><\/p>\n

But in focusing on profit and hype, Jamilah fears we miss out on an understanding of the root of these very real social problems:<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

What bothers me about this is that the true reason behind the disconnect between [Black women and Black men]\u00a0 no one wants to talk about. We have to go back to slavery. We were separated and pitted against each other [by gender and skin color]. So when another community is in charge of telling the story of what’s happening in our community today,\u00a0 we\u2019re not going to talk about slavery, we\u2019re not going to talk about the Moynihan Report<\/a>, we\u2019re not going to talk about how complicated it is to be our brother, sister, and lover at the same time. Keeping us unhappy serves the status quo. It may simmer down, but I don’t think it’s going to go away, especially now that we have the internet and anyone can say whatever they’d like.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>But to Jamilah, the internet cuts two ways, and can also be a space for us to tell our own stories and take back the responsibility of defining who we are and what roles we play in our own community and in society. To those who want to start their own blogs she says:<\/p>\n

Just\u00a0 be aware of yourself as a brand, but don\u2019t take yourself so seriously that you lose the humanity in your writing. If you have 12 readers or 20, you\u2019re just a person with ideas. Even if you have a PhD, you are just a person with ideas. Don\u2019t get so caught up in your need to promote those ideas that you lose your ability to challenge yourself or be challenged by someone who doesn\u2019t see the world the way you do. Always grow. My pieces now sound so different than they did when I first started. I’ve switched up my style because I am growing.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

To those who may not have the nearly 10,000 twitter followers<\/a> or steadily rising blog statistics, that she has, she says:<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let a seeming lack of interest in what you have to say discourage you. I\u2019ve had my site for 5 years. Don\u2019t focus on pandering to an audience. There are a lot of gossip bloggers fashion bloggers, find where you fit in. And tell your truth.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let your online life overtake your offline life. The richer and fuller your offliine life is the more you\u2019ll have to say. There may not e as much value in the things you think. Be mindful of the fact that the people who are behind the twitter handlers are real people.<\/span><\/p>\n

Not only does she encourage others to produce content and tell their own stories, she is preparing her own book of essays that she will self-publish this spring, in addition to writing for various sites. And when it is all said and done, she has but one over-arching goal:<\/p>\n

I hope I can introduce as many black people as possible to the concept of feminism\/womanism. Not just black women, I think its even more important that we get black men on board. You cant win oppression without swaying the oppressor. Maybe we just don\u2019t need to give the black man his rightful seat at the table. We need to find what works for us and find how we can achieve balance and how do we have a community that is male-nurturing without weakening Black women. That\u2019s what I hope for, to get people talking about gender within the race.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Prolific writer, feminist fighter, cake-baker, and history-maker, Jamilah Lemieux is: The Prototype.<\/p>\n

Follow DCDistrictDiva on Twitter<\/a>.\u00a0 Become a fan of \u201cThe Dithering of a District Diva\u201d on Facebook<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In early 2010, I introduced many of you to \u201cHappy Black Girl Day!\u201d, a holiday created by Brooklyn diva extraordinaire and fellow blogger Sister Toldja. This once-a-month holiday allows us to take a break from the constant media assault on Black women and to celebrate the sisterhood with showers of<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1362,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[26],"tags":[486,859],"class_list":["post-1361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-happy-black-girl-day","tag-jamilah-lemieux","tag-sister-toldja"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2010\/12\/Jamilah.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7nB6F-lX","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1361","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1361"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1361\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1362"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brookeobie.com\/districtdiva\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}